Well folks, it's almost that time. I've heard it called "Dirty Thirty", not me. I've considered "Flirty Thirty", a little bit of me, but not totally. So I've settled on "Purtty Thirty" cause I am a cutie pie. Sounds conceited a bit right? No, I'm just realizing I am about to be 30 years old.
How did I get here? It seems like just yesterday I was turning 20! I've heard that I "don't look 30" so I'll take what I can get. I've even heard that 40 is the new 20, so does that make me turning 30 a teenager again?!!! Actually funny story, I went with a buddy to see The Nightmare On Elm Street Remake last week. Well the teenaged kid at the box office window asked to see my I.D. I was curious as to why, so I asked why he needed to check my ID.
Well his response was, "Um, well anyone that looks 21 and under, I have to check to make sure they are old enough to see the rated R movie."
Well after laughing and feeling a healthy pump to my ego, I thanked him and went into the movie.
Anyway, I'm on the verge of a PRE-30-MID-LIFE crisis. Now all my older friends are like "SHUT UP! YOU ARE STILL A KID!" Okay, I get it, I'm not ancient yet, but age is all relative folks. To me, 30 is a big deal, and not something to be taken lightly.
As for the PRE-30-MID-LIFE crisis, I've been in the gym NON-STOP trying to have some noticeable change to my physique. Actually, I've lost about 25 pounds already, and I feel good about losing more by June 20th (my birthday). But, I've considered abrubtly quitting my job and moving to LA to start something on the road to a record deal, I've thought about going back to school for graphic design, I've thought about getting my wife pregnant (with her consent of course) so I can know the joy of being a Dad. I've even thought about getting a new flashy sports car, but I have a feeling thats what 50 year old men do, I'm quite content with my 2010 Toyota Camry.
But at the end of the day, it's not the fact that I'm turning 30 that freaks me out, it's that I'm all grown up and I STILL don't know what I want to do with my life. A part of me keeps waiting for God in Heaven to plop some wonderfully wrapped dream cometrue on my lap, and I know that's not how it works.
Ever since I can remember, I've ALWAYS wanted to be a recording artist. Make wonderful music, record with the talented heavy weight in the biz, tour, make videos, dance, show my funny personality on TV talk shows, sing LIVE, and live my dream. I've even been close having a deal with super-producer MANUEL SEAL back when I was younger, but it never really came to fruition.
So what now. Keep trying, or maybe, JUST maybe, is this my cue from God to humbly let go of a life of being a professional entertainer? I don't know. All I know is, I can still dream, and those dreams fuel the fire in me to keep on making it, even in the midst of my own self-doubt. Without dreams, life is boring, and I'm too much of an optimist for that to happen.
So we will see what "30" brings me. I just want what Heavenly Father's will is for my life, even if it's not what I, BOBBY ADAN, want. I want to be the best Husband, Son, Brother, Uncle, Friend, Person, Saint, and hopefully soon, Daddy I can be to all those that are in my life, and that I love. I think that's what will make me a successful 30 year old.
So here's to 30 baby...and trusting God for some miracles in my life. Thanks for letting me vent.
Love,
Bobby Adan
